Battle of the Luxury Powerhouses: 2024 Audi S8 vs Mercedes-AMG S63 vs BMW M70 Review & Drag Race

When it comes to luxury sedans with a penchant for speed and a flair for technology, three titans reign supreme: the Mercedes-AMG S63, the Audi S8, and the BMW M70. Each of these brutes combines opulence, performance, and innovation in a way that’ll make you question whether you’re piloting a spaceship. Which one deserves a spot in your dream garage? Let’s break it down and figure out if you’re more of an AMG adrenaline junkie, an Audi aficionado, or a BMW buff.

The 2024 Mercedes-AMG S63: The Luxurious Speed Demon

The Mercedes-AMG S63 is not just a car; it’s an experience. Redesigned for 2024 it blends AMG’s hallmark performance with the renowned opulence of the S-Class.

Specs at a Glance:

• Engine: 4.0L V8 Biturbo with mild hybrid assist
• Horsepower: 791 hp (combined)
• Torque: 1,055 lb-ft (combined)
• Starting Price: $185,000

Highlights:

• Hybrid Power: The S63’s mild hybrid system doesn’t just improve efficiency; it adds a shocking level of torque that’ll press you into the back of your massage seat.
• Interior Bliss: Mercedes’s MBUX system paired with Burmester 4D sound is like having a personal DJ who also happens to understand quantum physics.
• Ride Comfort: Air suspension with predictive adjustments ensures potholes feel more like minor hiccups.

Quirks & Features:

• The S63 has more ambient lighting options than a Vegas nightclub, including “soothing red” for stressful rush-hour traffic.
• The optional Executive Rear Seat Package makes passengers feel like CEOs…or emperors.

The 2024 Audi S8: Subtle Yet Savage

The Audi S8 is the sleeper hit of this trio. It’s for those who want explosive performance without screaming, “Hey! Look at me!”

Specs at a Glance:

• Engine: 4.0L V8 Biturbo with mild hybrid assist
• Horsepower: 563 hp
• Torque: 590 lb-ft
• Starting Price: $120,000

Highlights:

• Understated Elegance: Audi’s clean, minimalist design inside and out makes it perfect for the luxury enthusiast who prefers to fly under the radar.
• Quattro Grip: Audi’s legendary all-wheel-drive system ensures the S8 sticks to the road like a gecko on glass.
• Tech Forward: The Virtual Cockpit and dual touchscreens are intuitive, although you might miss physical buttons when you’re adjusting settings at 80 mph (on the Autobahn, obviously).

Quirks & Features:

• The S8’s predictive active suspension can literally lift a side of the car in anticipation of bumps, making it the smartest “boing” you’ll ever feel.
• It’s the stealthiest of the three, with no gaudy badges or excessive bodywork to scream its performance pedigree.

The 2024 BMW M70: The Techie’s Rocket Ship

BMW’s flagship M70 takes the brand’s ultimate driving machine mantra into the luxury stratosphere. It’s a blend of cutting-edge tech, comfort, and enough power to make your neighbors jealous.

Specs at a Glance:

• Engine: 6.6L V12 (final edition)
• Horsepower: 610 hp
• Torque: 590 lb-ft
• Starting Price: $160,000

Highlights:

• V12 Legacy: As one of BMW’s last V12 models, the M70 is a collector’s dream.
• Innovative Cabin: From the curved infotainment display to the gesture controls, the M70 feels more like an iPhone on wheels than a traditional car.
• Adaptive Drive Pro: BMW’s suspension system reads the road ahead like a fortune teller and adjusts accordingly.

Quirks & Features:

• The grille: It’s…BIG. Love it or hate it, people will notice.
• Gesture controls let you adjust volume or answer calls with a wave, making you look like a wizard to unsuspecting passengers.

Head-to-Head Comparisons

Performance:

• If raw power is your game, the AMG S63 dominates with its hybrid-enhanced 791 hp.
• The BMW M70’s V12 provides smooth, linear acceleration that’s hard to match.
• Audi’s S8 may trail in horsepower, but its lightweight construction and all-wheel drive make it a stealthy competitor.

Interior Quality:

• Mercedes wins on sheer luxury and opulence—it’s like driving a five-star hotel.
• BMW’s interior feels the most tech-forward, appealing to those who love gadgets.
• Audi’s minimalist design makes it the understated but still ultra-comfortable option.

Technology:

• Mercedes’ MBUX system edges ahead with AI features and eye-popping screens.
• BMW’s gesture controls and curved displays are flashy but might take some getting used to.
• Audi’s Virtual Cockpit remains a class leader for its clarity and ease of use.

Price-to-Performance Ratio:

• The Audi S8 offers tremendous value, delivering most of what its competitors do for a lower starting price.
• The BMW M70’s price reflects its exclusivity as a final V12 model.
• The AMG S63, while expensive, delivers an unbeatable mix of luxury and hybrid-enhanced performance.

Competitors Outside the Trio

Before you commit to one of these luxury sedans, it’s worth noting a few other contenders:

• Porsche Panamera Turbo S: For those who want more sports car in their luxury sedan. Blistering speed, precise handling, and the Porsche badge come with a hefty price tag.
• Lexus LS 500 F Sport: Less performance-oriented but oozing reliability and comfort, making it a practical choice.
• Tesla Model S Plaid: Ludicrous acceleration and cutting-edge tech for EV enthusiasts—if you can handle the minimalist interior.

Which One Should You Choose?

So, which of these luxury powerhouses would you park in your driveway?

• The Mercedes-AMG S63 is perfect for those who want the ultimate blend of power and luxury with a touch of eco-consciousness (well, mild hybrid counts, right?).
• The Audi S8 is for drivers who value performance without the flashy bells and whistles—it’s the underdog that packs a punch.
• The BMW M70 appeals to tech lovers and those who want a piece of automotive history with its final V12 model.

Personally, I’d go for the S63 because who wouldn’t want to casually drop “1,055 lb-ft of torque” into a conversation? But hey, it’s your choice. What’ll it be? The flashy Benz, the stealthy Audi, or the tech-savvy Bimmer?  Let us know in the comments below which one you’d choose and why.