We just love apocalypse movies. Whether its asteroids, zombies, murderous robots, giant murderous robots, or Godzilla, on thing is the same: you need a ride. The exact apocalypse will determine what vehicle you need, but this guide is a good overview for all of them. Hey, that would make a good movie. Zombie Terminator Asteroids…. Maybe not, but these vehicles are still awesome.
Zombies are slow, skinny, and poorly equipped, so basically the Iraqi army. The Hummer H1 has already defeated them, twice, so it should have no problem running down zombies. The big diesel V8 can run on nearly any fuel source, and has enough torque to power over crumbled buildings. There’s enough room inside for all the food and guns you will ever need. It has zero luxury items, but you won’t care as you’ll be driving over everything you can find.
Local Motors Rally Fighter
Remember the only good thing about the fourth Transformers movie? No, I don’t mean Li Bingbing, although she does have an awesome name. Then Mark Walberg and fam are escaping the bag guys, they are chased by the insanely great Rally Fighter. Powered by a 6.3 liter GM LS3 V8, this coupe has 430 hp for speedy getaways, and massive ground clearance and suspension travel for when you run over those darn transforming robots.
Pal V One
If you are in a region without much water, maybe a car/boat isn’t your ticket to a safe zone. How about an airplane? The Pal V One is an oddly named car/tricycle/gyroplane/thing that can handle daily driver duties, and convert at an airfield for flight. The top speed either way is a little over 100, so this is better for zombies or an outbreak over something fast moving. Still, if you don’t mind driving something as nerdy as the Elio, go for the flying car.
Jeep Wrangler Rubicon
Every man-child with a Wrangler somewhat hopes for the end of the world, knowing their cheaply built off-roader will be able to tackle anything short of Cthulhu. While the old AMC 4.0 straight six is long gone, that might be a good thing, as the new 3.6 liter Pentastar does a decent job, with 120 more hp and way better gas mileage. If your post-apocalypse plans involve barbeque with the bros, this is your ride.
Subaru Outback Sport
Subaru makes a whole lot of money selling a ton of ugly cars. No worries though, as they are known to stand up to a beating. Decent gas mileage means you can go where you need to get when the gas stations are out of power. The Outback doesn’t offer any more performance over the regular Impreza, but it does have more ground clearance and a cool off-road look. Like an AMC Eagle, except it runs. Giant swarms of locusts? Just turn on the wipers, hit the lights, and gas it.
Paramount Group Marauder
This 22,000 lb beast was designed from the start as a military vehicle equivalent to a mine-defeating MRAP. Available in 4×4 or 6×6 form, the big diesel can get it up to a top speed of 75 mph. 13 mph short for time travelling. There’s mount up top for big guns if you are surrounded, and the armor ensures nothing can get in. There’s room for 8 of your best redneck buddies. Have ‘em bring ammo.
Because you gotta look like a baller when the asteroid is about to hit. With decades of proven reliability under its belt, the G-class will get you there, in luxury and style. ‘Cause that matters. Since it’s the end of the world anyway, spring for the ridiculous G65 AMG version. Every full-size SUV needs a V12 with 604 hp and 738 lb/ft, right?
Well after the Lightning died, Ford let SVT have their way with the F-150 again. The Raptor is the awesome result, and rather than the previous version SVT created a Super Stadium Truck for the street. With 411 hp, strengthened frame, and a foot of suspension travel, the Raptor is your high-speed getaway to your mountain hideout.
Conquest Knight XV
Like the Raptor, the Knight XV is great for running over the undead without slowing down. Unlike the Raptor, this vehicle can be ordered with armor, and is loaded down with luxury features that would be at home in any Mercedes. There’s leather and TVs everywhere, plus cup holders for your canned food. Now you won’t have to hear or feel the bumps from those annoying zombies.
Okay, so it has zero ground clearance, but the fancy i8 still makes for a great apocalypse ride. The completely silent electric motor won’t attract zombies, and even the 3-cylinder gas engine is tiny and quiet. It has a combined 350 hp equivalent, and 400+ lb/ft, so it can easily get away from Terminators. Plus it’s plug-in, so you aren’t limited to creepy abandoned gas stations for refueling.
The older versions of the “Taco” were just a re-badged Toyota Hilux (pictured), so these things will survive a nuclear war, Armageddon, and zombies, combined. Yeah, that 113 horsepower 22R-E four banger isn’t going to get you anywhere much faster than the zombies, but it will start every single time. It’s great off-road, and can be your economical daily beater right now in your normal life.
U.S. Presidential Limousine, “Beast”
Going all the way back to Taft, American presidents have had some pretty slick rides. President Obama rides in a Cadillac-ish looking Chevy Kodiak truck, cut down to look like a limo. Aesthetics aside, the limo does feature some survival items. The engine is diesel, so it can run anywhere. The body, glass, and tires are bulletproof, and the air filter can remove biohazards from the air. While it’s not fast and handles about as well as Chris Christie on ice skates, it should survive just about anything.
Hennessey Venom GT
If you’re the last man on Earth, the obvious thing to do is steal someone’s super-fast car and go see the sights. The obvious choice is a Bugatti Veyron, but hold on. You don’t want to look like an unimportant Sheik’s second-cousin, right? The Venom GT is made by Hennessey to be the fastest production car on the planet, capable of even outrunning Transformers at 270+ mph. It also looks better, for when you pull in as the lone participant of Cars & Coffee.
In North America, it’s hard to remember that Mercedes makes a bunch of rugged utility vehicles for the rest of the world. If you can do without leather and touch screens in your Benz, look for a Unimog. These medium duty trucks serve as military vehicles, fire trucks, various off-road vehicles, and whatever else you need. The 5.1 liter turbo diesel makes V6 horsepower, but massive torque. It’s like a massively more capable Land Rover.
The “Duck” is a WWII amphibious vehicle made out an old 6×6 troop carrying truck. It has a laughable 94 hp, but that won’t matter when any cannibalistic biker gangs are chasing you. Just gas it for the nearest lake or river and drive right in. The transition from truck to boat is painless, and was good enough for D-day (or nowadays tourist movers). Bring your fishing gear and you’ve got the ultimate survival vehicle.
Need road/water capability, but the 1940s “Duck” is too freakin’ slow? Step into the ‘80s, with the Panther! It looks like a Wrangler with a cheesy ‘80s design, but supports modern power. For on road, you have Honda’s reliable 3.7L, amusingly called V-Tec by WaterCar. For the water maneuvers, a Panther Jet will get you up to 44 mph. Since it’s not as roomy as the Duck, passenger capacity is limited to you and your ‘80s bimbo.
ZIL Screw Drive
Russians think up some crazy vehicles. I blame the cold weather and loads of cheap vodka. One of the more interesting designs uses large screws (or more correctly, augers) that dig into soft surfaces like snow and mud, and spinning in counter-rotation, they drive the vehicle forward. The bonus here is that they can cross nearly any solid surface including ice, and are amphibious. The down side is the slow land speed, but hey, just imagine how zombies will sound getting squished under those giant screws.
If you just want to get away from it all, escape into the back woods. Unfortunately, a tent doesn’t provide much protection. EarthRoamer has the solution in the form of these modified Ford F-550 trucks. The camper over the bed is of impeccable quality, with all the amenities you need to survive without civilization, including solar power, toilet, and shower. The nice cherry wood and stainless appliances help keep your spirts high as the world crumbles.
Marathon Coach – Prevost H3-45
Think the EarthRoamer is too small? You’re in luck, as Marathon has exactly the ride you need. These extreme RVs have all the luxury features a rap star could ever need. From huge TVs to custom lighting and high quality wood flooring, these coaches are essentially rolling mansions. Sure, the turning circle covers two states but it’s all about the opulence when you’re the last man on Earth. Crank the tunes, fill the tub with Cristal, and go smoke an entire box of Cubans.
Tesla Model S P85D
The Model S P85D is a great choice in real life, and the post-apocalypse life. No need for creeper gas stations, as electric power will get you around. If the grid goes down, just steal some solar panels to charge it. The cabin filter is said to be one of the best and should keep out the plague, and the car even broke the crash test machine during safety trials, so even a kaiju can’t break in. Plus, it’ll haul all your prepper buddies, and has crushing acceleration so you don’t get bored on the abandoned highways.
That stupid Corolla
The things just won’t die. Over 40 million of these compact cars have been sold worldwide, so no matter where you are stuck when the stuff goes down, you’ll find a dependable vehicle that will get you to your destination. The fuel economy means no searching desperately for gas, and the exterior and interior design means your buddies will get plenty of much needed sleep on the ride. No armor or gun mount options, but that’s easily fixed with a welder.
What would you pick for the end of the world? Or would you go completely custom? Let us know what your vehicle from Apocalypse Motors would look like, and what options it needs.
By Andy Jensen